On Being a Canadian

The federal government is thinking about adding in a language proficiency milestone for anyone hoping to become a naturalized Canadian citizen.  The proposed regulation changes state that citizenship applicants should have the ability to fill out forms and express simple ideas in either English or French.

For some classes of immigrant this many not be a big deal as language requirements are a part of their application process.  But for some, particularly refugees, it could be a roadblock to citizenship.  Apparently, that is an important part of being Canadian.

Like any other person born here, these language requirements will never apply to me.  Unless I give it up Conrad Black style, I'll always be a Canadian citizen regardless of how well or poorly I can use either official language.  But it's a good segue into a discussion on being a Canadian.

I've touched on what it means to be a Canadian a couple of time, but never in any great detail.  In the Thanksgiving rundown I mentioned how our very own turkey day pays homage to the outright failure of a Martin Frobisher voyage (he didn't find the Northwest Passage and brought home hundred tons of worthless rocks).  If a reader bothered to follow the link out of the entry on Page One, they would have learned what expat Bruce Headlam, then editor of the New York Times had to say about his home and native land ("not only a lot bigger than Minnesota, it’s just as interesting").

I've never been able to satisfy myself with a definition on what it is to being Canadian.  Aside from something basic like being eligible for a passport, the single best I've managed is that Canadians are a group of people who can spend a lot of time telling anyone who will listen how different we are from Americans.  

Will Ferguson included a quiz in his book How to be a Canadian that assigned a certain number of point towards your Canadianness.  Things like if you remember where you where when Ben lost his medal, or when Wayne was traded.  I recall those things happening, but they predate some of my classmates so they may not be the best litmus test.  Maybe its fairer to ask if they know where they were when Ross lost his medal or where they were when Sidney was drafted.

There is an actual citizenship test that hopeful Canadians must take and pass to become naturalized.  The Richmond, B.C. public library has a practice version of it here: http://www.yourlibrary.ca/citizenship/.  Discounting the questions specific to the Richmond area, I scored a 90% on the test, which is pretty good, though it is hardly a perfect test for gauging culture.

I don't know about the actual test, but parts of this practice one aren't quite correct.  Like this question.

11. How is the Prime Minister chosen?
a. The Queen appoints the Prime Minister.
b. The Governor General with the Senate appoint the Prime Minister
c. The leader of the party with the most elected representatives becomes the Prime Minister.
d. The MP's (sic) vote on the Prime Minister

The "correct" choice is c, but the answer disagrees with how a Prime Minister is actually selected.  Although the Prime Minister is most commonly the leader of the party with the most number of seats, there is no requirement that this be the case.  In fact, two PMs have been Senators who have not led their political party.  Nor is there a requirement that the Prime Minister come from the party with the most seats.  This can happen in a coalition government or following an election that does not result in a majority situation.  If that happens, the current Prime Minister retains the position even if his/her party doesn't have the largest number of seats.

For as wrong as the correct answer is, none of the others are really any better.  Answer d is completely off base, MPs have no say in the matter.  Choice b would be perfect if it didn't mention the Senate.  If the test-taker takes "Queen" to include her representative (the governor general) then it becomes the best fit.  As it is, that puts it about at the same level of incorrect as c.

Anyway, knowing the finer points of selecting a Prime Minister are hardly important to the day-to-day of being a Canadian.  To be honest, there are probably a lot of Canadians who think the PM is voted for in a manner similar to the U.S. president, it’s probably best not to include the issue at all.

And for as much as I like them, history and governance aren't the be all and end all of culture.  Things like food, art, sport and music should be considered.

For food, the only Canadian concoction that springs to mind is poutine.  While not without its charm, I'm not sure it qualifies as a national dish the same way perogies say Ukrainian or pasta says Italian.  If former Prime Minister Joe Clark is to be believed, we don't have a national food, rather a "cuisine of cuisines."  What that means to me is that we aren't original when it comes to food.

Art is important, but I'm sure many Canadians would struggle to name a famous Canadian artist who wasn't associated with the Group of Seven.  Even then, there would be a struggle to name an actual member of the group as neither Emily Carr nor Tom Thompson are members.  Literature can be lumped in here though I'm sure most Canadians have only a passing and probably unfavourable impression of Canadian authors based on having to read something by Margaret Atwood or Timothy Findlay back in high school.  Film too, although it is sometimes joked that the best witness protection program would be to involve someone in the Canadian film industry. 

In the realm of sports, we sure do like hockey.  Lots and lots of hockey.  I think we like it because we're better at it than anyone else.  We beat the Soviets in '72!  We beat the U.S. in 2010!  It's a bit thumbing of the nose, but since some Canadians have rioted because of the outcome of a hockey game, I guess it must be considered.

Musically we have a lot of talent here in Canada.  Acts like Rush, Celine Dion, Nickelback and Ann Murray have all made it big outside our borders, so that has to be worth something.  Then again, because Canada is so massive the bands on the east coast have a completely different sound from those practicing in the basements of the prairies and different still from whatever it is they do out west (I honestly can't name a band from out that way other than Chilliwack).  And Quebec pop music is in a completely different language.  If there is anything there, I sure don't know what it is.

So if it can't be tested or ingested, experienced or played, is there a definition of what it means to be a Canadian?  I still don't think it can solve our identify crisis with a small number of words.  The closest I've ever seen was something historian Frank Underhill wrote in 1964.

"If we are eventually to satisfy ourselves that we have at last achieved a national identity, it will be only when we are satisfied that we have arrived at a better American way of life than the Americans have." 

And maybe that's depressing, but I can't deny the accuracy of it.

RIM offers app-ology

Canada's own Research In Motion will offer more than $100 of free apps in appology to BlackBerry customers following last week's planet-wide service outage.  The program will begin on October 19 and initial offerings from RIM include:

• SIMS 3 - Electronic Arts
• Bejeweled - Electronic Arts
• N.O.V.A. - Gameloft
• Texas Hold’em Poker 2 - Gameloft
• Bubble Bash 2 - Gameloft
• Photo Editor Ultimate - Ice Cold Apps
• DriveSafe.ly Pro - iSpeech.org
• iSpeech Translator Pro - iSpeech.org
• Drive Safe.ly Enterprise - iSpeech.org
• Nobex Radio™ Premium - Nobex
• Shazam Encore - Shazam
• Vlingo Plus: Virtual Assistant - Vlingo

I'm really only familiar with the Nobex Radio app, which is fantastic even in its free form.  I'd even go as far as to suggest that it beats out the station and broadcast company specific apps floating around.  Like the name suggests, it streams radio stations direct to your phone.  Users get the stations in their country for free (and in my experience as a Canadian, you get U.S. stations as well) the premium version will allow listening to stations from over 100 countries.  I still won't be able to listen to CBS programming out of the U.S. but BBC from the UK and ABC from Australia will be nice additions.

SIMS 3, Bejeweled, N.O.V.A., Bubble Bash 2 and Texas Hold'em Poker 2 are all games.  Great for those who'd rather pass their time living fake lives and matching similar objects to whatever else their phone might let them do.  I don't really play games on my phone, and free ones are unlikely to make me start.

The photo editor is probably exactly what it says, can't imagine why I'd try to do something as imprecise as the track pad on my BlackBerry.  The App World page indicates its pretty fully featured, so maybe its for those people who have a touch screen. 

Shazam Encore listens to a bit of a song and then tells you what it is.  This would have been a handy service 10 years ago but now becuase there are dedicated people who archive song lyrics, you can get by just googling the song's refrain. 

I had to look up what drivesafe.ly is, apparently it reads text (SMS, BBM and email) to the phone's user while driving a car. It's free so I'll try it out even though I'm not sure I'll get much use out of it. iSpeech also makes the phone talk, but it translates between languages. That's neat and I'll take it for free, but it also won't see a whole lot of use.

I guess Vlingo balances off what drivesafe.ly and iSpeech do by allowing the phone's user to speak directly to the phone.  It seems pretty powerful and with a retail price point of $20, it certainly seems worth a test drive.  I imagine it has to be pretty hard on the battery though, but it will be fun pretending to be on Star Trek.  That said, customer ratings of the app on BlackBerry App World seem to be pretty down on the app as of late, so maybe it will be like those episodes of Star Trek where the computer doesn't work properly.

So, not a lineup that excites me a whole lot (other than Nobex) but it is nice that RIM is doing something to address the service outage.  They are also promising more apps to come, though it won't be surprising if these end up being the heavy-hitters of the offerings.

Celebrating Canadian Thanksgiving

Until I thought to look it up, I thought the Canadian Thanksgiving shared a similar (and less celebrated) origin story to American Thanksgiving.  European settlers and native people, eating from the same table, celebrating the harvest.  I figured it had only one major difference, that being the holiday is celebrated earlier because our harvest happens sooner.

But like I said, I looked it up.  Apparently there is more to the story than just that.

An unnamed journalist at the Edmonton Journal claims Canadian Thanksgiving also has something to do with celebrating Martin Frobisher's safe return from a voyage to the north in 1578.  Frobisher made three voyages into the north, but never managed to find the Northwest Passage.  He did find tons and tons of ore to ship home to England though, which he thought contained gold.  Turns out it was just iron pyrite (fool's gold) which left Frobisher's face a bit red.  England eventually used it to pave roads, which I guess makes the best of a bad situation.

Frobisher's legacy attacking the Spanish earned him a knighthood, but his legacy as far as Canada goes is failure.  And apparently that failure accounts for one of our national holidays that we are supposed to celebrate.  I guess it speaks well to Canada that we accept, even celebrate, the best of intentions.  We're so polite.

But with our other national holidays being Victoria Day (more or less a celebration of our mom's birthday) and Canada Day (which marks the day we officially moved out of our parent's house) is it really surprising that the nation struggles with its identity?

Bombers Make Diagonal Move

I always thought Michael Bishop had potential to be more than he amounted to.  Maybe getting stuck behind Damon Allen all those years in Toronto hindered his development?  Or maybe getting stuck behind Kerry Joseph that year in Toronto?  Or those wasted years in NFL Europe or the Arena Football League?

He has a cannon for an arm but it always looks like he believes he has to prove something immediately or he'll get released.  In fairness to the man, that does seem to be the pattern that prevails in his life. 

Somewhere I have his Arena Football Card.  Maybe I'll get it signed.  I'm sure I don't have to hurry.  If I miss him this time around, he might actually not come back.  I can't be sure who the CFL will turn to as a mid-season comedy replacement after Bishop, but I have a guess:

 Here's a source if you don't believe me: http://www.winnipegsun.com/2011/09/27/bombers-bringing-back-bishop

Turn to Page One to Begin the Lesson

In an attempt to model a blog post after the way Ken Levine does things, here are some thoughts on Page One: A Year Inside the New York Times.

I was a little concerned when I saw a title credit for History Films as the History channel is flooded with shows about pawn shops, semi-trailers and how aliens maybe helped build Egypt's pyramids.  Gladly, no pawnbrokers, truckers or E.T.s to be had.

A more appropriate title for the doc would be Media Desk: A Year Following David Carr of the New York Times. 

Carr is a recovered drug addict that doesn't pull punches.  A TV show of him going about his daily routine would probably be the highest rated show ever. 

This wouldn't be half as interesting if it didn't cover the year the WikiLeaks became important.

Normally I'd be inclined to blur the plate in a picture of a car I took a photo of, but anyone who is that big a supporter of WikiLeaks has an uphill battle proving to me that his privacy is somehow more important than stolen diplomatic cables.

The doc introduced me to newser.com.  Its ok, but I prefer the low-tech and more Canadian bourque.org. 

Watch the background in shots featuring an editor named Bruce Hedlam.  There seemed to be a different bottle of pills on his desk everytime he is shown in his office.

But don't worry about him, he's Canadian so he can always come back for some health care.

Film maker Rossi threw in some archival footage of all those old white guys slaving away working at a news paper.  In 50 years the same could be said of Page One.

Maybe that's not fair, a couple of them weren't old.

The doc points out the paywall.  Google NYTClean if you want to see how $40-50 million of software engineering was undone with four lines of computer code.

But there are no torrents to download Page One.  Give it time.

There were those update cards for a couple guys at the end, but not everyone.  I like it when I find out what happens to everyone, sometimes the most surprising people end up as state senators.  When in New York, visit The New York Times (ask for Dave).

The election, Web 1.0 and some math jokes

There's an election going on where I live.  Debates, particularly among political leaders are generally a feature of an election campaign and this one is no different.  Today, PC leader Hugh McFadyen, NDP leader Greg Selinger and Liberal leader Jon Gerrard gathered around some mics and got in as many words as they could about crime and health care.  I got to sit in the next room over and and live-tweet along with what was being said.

It was kinda neat.  I've attended/listened to/watched many of these things, managed the occasional question and have talked about them in the past amongst my peers.  But this is the first time I offered running commentary on one to people who weren't in the same room as I.

Twitter was responsible for spreading my message far and wide, to everyone that happened to subscribe to CJOB's twitter feed.  I was handed the keys and told to go for it.  I hope some subscribers took something away from it, I equally hope nobody unsubbed because of it.

This is really the Internet at its best, the near instant exchange of information.  You may not be familiar with that particular application of the Internet as it doesn't get much use for that.    Far more bandwidth is devoted to the scholarly pursuits of listening to theme songs from tv shows of the 80s on YouTube and looking at pictures of cats with purposefully misspelled captions.

But before before the blogosphere there was the information super highway.  This was the world of Web 1.0.  There were no blogs, only web pages.  Real Player tried to bring us audio and video, but it never finished buffering.  Before whatever social media is today and what it will be in the next couple of years, Usenet and IRC reigned supreme.  Both are still around, but are shadows of their former selves.  And who can forget accessing information with the Lynx browser using the once proud gopher protocol?

Really, except for Real Player not being very good and nobody using gopher and Lynx anymore, the Internet hasn't changed.  Web 2.0 just makes things nicer looking and easier to get at.  You could always do what blogging is on a personal web page and people would use IRC to communicate in real-time, more or less like Twitter except it was harder to see what happened before you logged in and your audience was limited only to the people in the room.

I'm just guessing here, but I think that's where hashtagging comes from.  To talk over IRC a person had to join a room, and rooms were differentiated from users by having a hashtag in front of the name of the room.  Rooms tended to be divided by topic, so if you were in the #winnipeg room, you were talking about Winnipeg.  Seems like the same idea to me. 

Anyway, in honour of my walk down Web 1.0 memory lane and for the benefit of some people I know taking an editing class that will soon be focusing on numbers, here are some humorous highlights from bash.org's IRC quote archive. 

<kow`> "There are 10 types of people in the world... those who understand binary and those who don't."
<SpaceRain> That's only 2 types of people, kow.
<SpaceRain> STUPID

<tadpoleofdeath> Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?
<elfking> why?
<tadpoleofdeath> Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

<IncoherentMoron> choose an integer between 1 and 35
<Elliotw2> F
<IncoherentMoron> base 10, smartass

And something a touch more modern, a photo(!) with one more number joke:

Imaginary numbers, eh?  Could those be infecting the "Crocus calculator" that McFadyen insists Selinger uses?

Ten Years On

It's a decade after the terror attacks of September 11, and people everywhere are remembering. Depending who you are and how old were, you remember different things about the day.

I remember listening to CJOB that morning and it was on that station that I heard the news of the first plane hitting the first of the towers. At the time, it sounded like an accident. I remember thinking about a couple of other aviation accidents few weeks prior and figuring this too was accidental.

At some point, CJOB switched over to CNN's audio feed, so I did as well. I also made my way to work, which at the time was the Winnipeg office of one of the city's members of parliament. Everyone in the office basically just watched coverage all day long, as did pretty much everyone. One of my co-workers was sick when she watched footage of people jumping from the towers.

We had two phone calls that day, one from our office on the hill where the Ottawa staffer told us that that snipers had been posted on the roof of centre block and everyone was being sent home. The other call was someone who needed help with student loans. I'm not sure if that caller was unaware of what was going on, or just unconcerned.

I also remember the internet pretty much stopping. CNN's homepage was reduced to a simple couple of text links taking visitors to other parts of the their site. CBC's site wasn't working so well either. Everyone wanted information and news sites couldn't keep up.

Search engines weren't much better. But I do remember running Osama Bin Laden's name through a search when the initial speculation was that he was connected/responsible for the attack. Among the first three hits was a satire of some sort that on a free host like Angelfire or Geocities that had been done months or years before. I found it again a day or two later and the author had voluntarily taken it down, saying it was in now in poor taste.

The Winnipeg Free Press published a special edition that afternoon. I only remember it was filled with pictures. I assume there was articles with the best information available at the time. I don't think I have it anymore, but I wish I did.

As I did every Tuesday at the time, I went out to dinner with some friends. There was some uneasiness about that, but we forged on and discussed the day's events. I don't recall anything specific, other than speculation about the death toll. Someone at the table said 20 thousand. I remember responding that, if true, the death toll was more than D-Day.

About the only other thing I remember from around that time was going to the first Blue Bomber game following the attacks. The game sponsor was Boeing, and I recall the coincidence being slightly awkward.

Since everyone else is rolling out remembrances, I'd like to recommend "That Day" from WGN radio in Chicago. Its only an hour and available for listening or download via the link above. It's exceptionally well produced and gives a bit of an insight what it was like to be in a news room that day.

WGN has a variety of other audio clips on the site that are worth a listen. Especially interesting is the audio montage and the raw audio they have of other calls and radio traffic from the day of the attacks.

And it's not up yet (and may never be) but their overnight host had an excellent clip-by-clip breakdown of that montage (plus a couple others) between 1 and 2 am which aired on Sept 11, 2011. If it shows up as a podcast, I'll edit a link into the post, so check back.